Ever wondered if bondage is something for you or not? With these tips you can easily start and build up your bondage experience, and find out in no-time if bondage is a go or a no-go for you!
- Find a suitable bondage partner
One of the most important things when starting with bondage is to find the right partner. Of course it can be super exciting to find an experienced bondage specialist that binds you right away, developing your own bondage play with a partner or an intimate friend can be even more exciting! Bondage takes a lot of trust, and it’s great to work on that trust together, starting from the moment when you and your bondage partner started this journey. - Talk about it
If you want to try bondage with someone, it makes sense to start talking about it first. If you think you’ve found someone to start exploring bondage with, it’s time to find out what you both like. Show each other movies that speak to your imagination (YouTube is a great source with lots of bondage tutorials), ask your bondage buddy to read this blog, discuss what tools you’d like to use (bondage rope, belts, shawls, restraints, chains, …) and, most importantly, who is gonna tie and who will be tied up (of course, taking turns is also an option). This easily shows if you’re on the same page, and before you know it, you’ve started your bondage journey. - Start slowly, and build up from there
If you both think you’re ready, it’s time to really get started! So… get anything you can tie your partner with, and tie him or her with big knots and great force…. Right? Ehm… NO! In your excitement it’s easy to go too fast, which might lead to a negative experience and emotions with one or both of you. Therefore: start slowly, for example with step 4. If that’s too soft for you, go to one of the subsequent steps below. - Hands on your back…!
The safest way to start to explore the world of bondage, is to give the person that will be tied down an assignment. For instance: to keep both hands and arms in a certain position, out of reach (e.g. behind one’s back, under the but, or spread out on bed). When this is done, the other person begins to touch and caress the person to be bound, with hands, soft object, or other body parts. While doing so, both partners make sure that the person to be bound really keeps his/her hands and arms where they are, and the other person can also correct that if necessary. Are you both ok with what’s happening? Then take the next step! - Restrain without restraints
A possible next step, before the ropes really enter the stage, if to restrain the person to be bound without using any attributes. As an example: one can hold the hands of the other while manual or oral pleasure is given. Or keep the arms on the back of the person to be bound, while other sexual acts you both enjoy are being done. To take it a little bit further, it’s possible to restrain the other by putting light pressure with both shins on the wrists or ankles of the other person. This last options gives the person to be bound some freedom, to touch or tickle the other person. Don’t forget too check now and then if what you’re doing is still comfortable for the other, and of course without any discomfort or pain. - Starting with a simple knot
If you’re both still ok and in the mood, it’s time to get out the bondage attributes (YES!!). A good place to start tying are the hands. To do this, wrap the rope two or three times around the wrists, and tie it with a simple knot. Don’t make it too tight, I will explain at step 7 why not. Optionally, the person that’s tied can be given an assignment, for instance to assert a certain position in which he or she is comfortable, or to give the person that is tying up access to certain body parts. - Do some research!
If you’re both getting into it, it’s time to do some homework. The human body contains many different blood vessels and neural pathways. By tying someone the wrong way, your might restrict on of these vessels or pathways. This might cause a tingling sensation, but when not taken seriously can lead to a numb or cold feeling in a body part, with possible damage as a consequence. That’s why it’s very important to know how to tie, and to frequently check with your partner for any of these tingling sensations. Keep communicating, and take action when needed by releasing your partner. - Keep practicing
If you and your bondage partner are still curious and want to continue your exploration of the world of bondage, there are many ways to do so. The website below are very helpful, and a good way to find out a bondage knot is not just an ordinary knot (a good bondage knot doesn’t exert pressure on the body), and to learn more about the different types of bondage (like Shibari or suspension).
– Bondage on Wikipedia
– Bondage tutorial for beginners on YouTube
– The Duchy: Blog with in-depth tutorials and discussions on rope bondage
